Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy

Better understand your partner and yourself and create the fulfilling and loving relationship you value and deserve.

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“Elegance is to go to the core of beauty. And the core of beauty is simplicity.” – Paolo Coelho

Our relationships are the most important aspects of our lives. When they go well, we feel like we are on top of the world, and there is nothing we cannot achieve or overcome.

However, when they are not going the way we would like – when our interactions with our partners are all about anger or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, we find ourselves hardly interacting with them – the rest of our lives seems to suffer along with us.

I know how agonizing it can be. I also know it does not have to be this way.

Few things in life are as painful as not being able to connect with the person you have chosen to spend your life with.

When you keep trying to connect over and over again, but nothing you do seems to help, after a while you stop trying. You get tired of feeling like you are walking on eggshells. You pull back and you become emotionally distant. But that does not make the pain go away. You start to feel stuck, discouraged, even hopeless.

It may sound counterintuitive, but the pain you are experiencing is actually the good news. It means you still care and some part of you still has hope that you can bring your relationship roaring back to life. And you can, if your partner and you are both ready to engage with the work.

How Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy Can Help

I have helped many couples over the years: the one problem couples struggle with time and time again is communication.

It is not uncommon for the same two people who had spent hours talking and sharing when they first met, to find themselves arguing, if they spend any time together at all.

So, first and foremost, couples and marriage counseling is about exploring how your partner and you communicate with each other, how you do not, and how the two of you can express your wants, needs, and feelings without playing the blame game.

And effective communication is about a lot more than just how you talk to one another. It is about how well you listen to your partner, whether you understand or can accept each other’s point of view, as well as how well you listen to and understand yourself.

People often start couples and marriage counseling with the idea of getting help for, or somehow “fixing” or “changing,” their partners.

However, the work we do together is not about changing either one of you. You are not broken, and you do not need to be fixed.

Instead, marriage counseling and couples therapy is about both of you better understanding and accepting who you are, healing any emotional wounds from prior relationships that are causing problems in the present, learning to communicate in a more open, respectful, authentic, and loving manner, and growing into your full potential, individually and together.

Is It Ever Too Late to Get Help?

People often come to couples and marriage counseling far later than they should, but it is really never too late to seek professional help.

No matter what stage your relationship is at – whether you are experiencing new communication difficulties, find yourself in some sort of relationship bottleneck, are looking to repair a broken trust or recover from infidelity, simply want to deepen your emotional intimacy, or are tired of repeating the same problems you have been having for years – marriage counseling and couples therapy can help your partner and you:

  • Better understand each other and learn the skills to communicate more effectively, so you feel listen to and truly understood;
  • Cope with, work through, and resolve any anxiety, depression, or trauma that one or both partners are struggling with;
  • Clear up any cultural differences that are affecting your communication styles, the way you parent, and how you understand one another;
  • Parent more effectively, even when you do not agree; and
  • Decide whether you can resolve the issues and concerns you have together, or if the only way to heal and grow is to go your separate ways.

As a mental health therapist, I have worked with a lot of high-conflict couples over the years, both individually and together.

Couples and marriage counseling helped some of them decide it was time to part company and figure out how to do so in a respectful, even loving manner, while other couples who were already separated when they started therapy with me – even those who could barely be in the same room together – are now back together and closer than they have ever been before.

So, regardless of where you find yourself at – mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually – it is never too late to get some professional help.

I will come to each session with you and meet you where you are with curiosity, open-mindedness, respect for your sharing, and support for your healing and growth.

If you are ready to go a little deeper and really explore and understand who you are and the challenges you are facing, so you do not keep experiencing the same issues going forward, I encourage you to contact me today to schedule a free initial consultation and learn more about how the marriage counseling and couples therapy services I offer can help. I look forward to connecting and helping you create the richly rewarding, fulfilling, and loving relationship you value and deserve.

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Dominique Yarritu, PhD, LMFT – In-Person and Online Marriage Therapist providing Couples Counseling, Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling in San Jose, California